Beyond Football - Freestyle Football Forum

Freestyle Soccer Forum => Freestyle Chat => Topic started by: DanTheMan on Jul 12, 2009, 09:54: AM

Title: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: DanTheMan on Jul 12, 2009, 09:54: AM
Tom Folan:
Tom Patrick Midget Folan was born on a cold winters night in 2003...
At the hospital his incubator failed and it is the cause of his lack and his phobia, of height...
He's so scared of heights that he cant even listen to the song called "Top Shelf" by Rapper "Outerspace"...
He took out his anger at the world by releasing many freestyle videos with Short duration, and with songs such as Get Low, in order to rebel against his phobia of heights...
His parents took him to see a therapist to help him with his problems... Conor McCarthy from Bognor was that therapist... Years of experience working in the pressure-cooker environment of Tesco's had honed Conors mind into a therapeutic haven, curing kids like Tom Folan with his magical presence....
Macca took TF under his guidance and taught him how to perform no touch combos, and also how to be an internet dickhead similar to Oliver Cherek and Leha, and of course Macca himself... However Tom, being from a rich background, declined to become an internet dickhead and instead helps innocent noobs like Balshi and Josh Clarky with topics such as how to correctly transport a football on an airplane....


FEEL free to add more, im sure Lucaso has some up his sleeve
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: anhkhoashevakt on Jul 12, 2009, 10:03: AM
Tom Folan:
Tom Patrick Midget Folan was born on a cold winters night in 2003...
At the hospital his incubator failed and it is the cause of his lack and his phobia, of height...
He's so scared of heights that he cant even listen to the song called "Top Shelf" by Rapper "Outerspace"...
He took out his anger at the world by releasing many freestyle videos with Short duration, and with songs such as Get Low, in order to rebel against his phobia of heights...
His parents took him to see a therapist to help him with his problems... Conor McCarthy from Bognor was that therapist... Years of experience working in the pressure-cooker environment of Tesco's had honed Conors mind into a therapeutic haven, curing kids like Tom Folan with his magical presence....
Macca took TF under his guidance and taught him how to perform no touch combos, and also how to be an internet dickhead similar to Oliver Cherek and Leha, and of course Macca himself... However Tom, being from a rich background, declined to become an internet dickhead and instead helps innocent noobs like Balshi and Josh Clarky with topics such as how to correctly transport a football on an airplane....


FEEL free to add more, im sure Lucaso has some up his sleeve

This will anger a lot of people fasho, but in the meantime... :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Lucaso on Jul 12, 2009, 10:20: AM
Pawel Skora Origin:
One beautiful day on the polish tomato farm in July 1988 father bought one of the first TV´s in Poland and immediately started to watch his favorite sitcom "Farmer Palmer shows you how...". In this part famous main character Alex advised people how to take care about their faces during working on fields and it was soooo exciting how he used Avon and Clean&Clear stuff.... but unfortunately for man´s future son his pregnant wife came to room and switch the channel to Euro 1988 and whole family started to watch football match Poland vs Monaco. It was 5 minutes to end of the match when Polish striker called Amatw SKORED Goal. As a memory on first Polish goal in European competitions parents named their son SKORA and to master AMATW became his destiny... Ladies and Gentlemen, this is true story about.........

PAWEL SKORA (to be continued)
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: BigMac on Jul 12, 2009, 11:01: AM
god i feel sorry for you dan lol
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: JulaL on Jul 12, 2009, 05:04: PM
Tom Folan:
Tom Patrick Midget Folan was born on a cold winters night in 2003...
At the hospital his incubator failed and it is the cause of his lack and his phobia, of height...
He's so scared of heights that he cant even listen to the song called "Top Shelf" by Rapper "Outerspace"...
He took out his anger at the world by releasing many freestyle videos with Short duration, and with songs such as Get Low, in order to rebel against his phobia of heights...
His parents took him to see a therapist to help him with his problems... Conor McCarthy from Bognor was that therapist... Years of experience working in the pressure-cooker environment of Tesco's had honed Conors mind into a therapeutic haven, curing kids like Tom Folan with his magical presence....
Macca took TF under his guidance and taught him how to perform no touch combos, and also how to be an internet dickhead similar to Oliver Cherek and Leha, and of course Macca himself... However Tom, being from a rich background, declined to become an internet dickhead and instead helps innocent noobs like Balshi and Josh Clarky with topics such as how to correctly transport a football on an airplane....


FEEL free to add more, im sure Lucaso has some up his sleeve
Lmfao!!!  :lol:
Great One!!! Very Convincing!!! :biggrin:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: JoshClarkeFS on Jul 12, 2009, 05:46: PM
god i feel sorry for you dan lol

 :rolleyes:

but i laughed ..
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Arteest on Jul 12, 2009, 06:50: PM
Tom Folan:
Tom Patrick Midget Folan was born on a cold winters night in 2003...
At the hospital his incubator failed and it is the cause of his lack and his phobia, of height...
He's so scared of heights that he cant even listen to the song called "Top Shelf" by Rapper "Outerspace"...
He took out his anger at the world by releasing many freestyle videos with Short duration, and with songs such as Get Low, in order to rebel against his phobia of heights...
His parents took him to see a therapist to help him with his problems... Conor McCarthy from Bognor was that therapist... Years of experience working in the pressure-cooker environment of Tesco's had honed Conors mind into a therapeutic haven, curing kids like Tom Folan with his magical presence....
Macca took TF under his guidance and taught him how to perform no touch combos, and also how to be an internet dickhead similar to Oliver Cherek and Leha, and of course Macca himself... However Tom, being from a rich background, declined to become an internet dickhead and instead helps innocent noobs like Balshi and Josh Clarky with topics such as how to correctly transport a football on an airplane....


FEEL free to add more, im sure Lucaso has some up his sleeve
:lol:

That line gets me every time
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Mikael on Jul 12, 2009, 08:19: PM
I know Leha's story but I'm too stoned to type it :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Ethan on Jul 12, 2009, 08:20: PM
LMFAO! This is the best thread in AGES ;)
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: DanTheMan on Jul 12, 2009, 08:31: PM
LMFAO! This is the best thread in AGES ;)
so contribute to it !  ;)
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: SeBaS on Jul 13, 2009, 02:59: AM
has potential, maybe if someone would post a funny one....
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: DanTheMan on Jul 13, 2009, 03:00: AM
has potential, maybe if someone would post a funny one....
why dont you?
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: BigMac on Jul 13, 2009, 03:03: AM
Dan The Man:

Multi national cock who endlessly tries to be funny but fails.
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: SeBaS on Jul 13, 2009, 03:06: AM
has potential, maybe if someone would post a funny one....
why dont you?
lack of inspiration. later maybe
Dan The Man:

Multi national cock who endlessly tries to be funny but fails.
funniest one till now. seriously
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: JoshClarkeFS on Jul 13, 2009, 03:27: AM
Dan The Man:

Multi national cock who endlessly tries to be funny but fails.

 :bowdown: :bowdown:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: BigMac on Jul 13, 2009, 03:28: AM
 :biggrin:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: TF on Jul 13, 2009, 04:01: AM
Dan
























































one big accident
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Delano on Jul 13, 2009, 05:56: AM
Tom Folan:
Tom Patrick Midget Folan was born on a cold winters night in 2003...
At the hospital his incubator failed and it is the cause of his lack and his phobia, of height...
He's so scared of heights that he cant even listen to the song called "Top Shelf" by Rapper "Outerspace"...
He took out his anger at the world by releasing many freestyle videos with Short duration, and with songs such as Get Low, in order to rebel against his phobia of heights...
His parents took him to see a therapist to help him with his problems... Conor McCarthy from Bognor was that therapist... Years of experience working in the pressure-cooker environment of Tesco's had honed Conors mind into a therapeutic haven, curing kids like Tom Folan with his magical presence....
Macca took TF under his guidance and taught him how to perform no touch combos, and also how to be an internet dickhead similar to Oliver Cherek and Leha, and of course Macca himself... However Tom, being from a rich background, declined to become an internet dickhead and instead helps innocent noobs like Balshi and Josh Clarky with topics such as how to correctly transport a football on an airplane....


FEEL free to add more, im sure Lucaso has some up his sleeve

Lol.. +1
But I understand some people don't like it  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: BigMac on Jul 13, 2009, 07:28: AM
haha i didnt read the bit where you called me an internet dickhead along with cherek and leha. I didnt know I was in their league :pimp:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Lucaso on Jul 14, 2009, 01:18: AM
Fuck you guys... discover sense of humor and creativity :rockit: :rockit:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: DanTheMan on Jul 14, 2009, 02:07: AM
Its impossible Lucaso.. have you seen the people who come on this forum!? When someone makes a funny thread people just get offended
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: BigMac on Jul 14, 2009, 02:08: AM
Its impossible Lucaso.. have you seen the people who come on this forum!? When someone makes a funny thread people just get offended

I am deeply offended by this post particulary ^^
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: DanTheMan on Jul 14, 2009, 02:13: AM
hahaha ok that made me laugh
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Fye on Jul 14, 2009, 05:21: AM
 :bang:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: biyan0 on Jul 15, 2009, 07:47: AM
is a miracle oliver didnt cancel this threat
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Blazej on Jul 15, 2009, 11:33: PM
Tom Folan:
Tom Patrick Midget Folan was born on a cold winters night in 2003...
At the hospital his incubator failed and it is the cause of his lack and his phobia, of height...
He's so scared of heights that he cant even listen to the song called "Top Shelf" by Rapper "Outerspace"...
He took out his anger at the world by releasing many freestyle videos with Short duration, and with songs such as Get Low, in order to rebel against his phobia of heights...
His parents took him to see a therapist to help him with his problems... Conor McCarthy from Bognor was that therapist... Years of experience working in the pressure-cooker environment of Tesco's had honed Conors mind into a therapeutic haven, curing kids like Tom Folan with his magical presence....
Macca took TF under his guidance and taught him how to perform no touch combos, and also how to be an internet dickhead similar to Oliver Cherek and Leha, and of course Macca himself... However Tom, being from a rich background, declined to become an internet dickhead and instead helps innocent noobs like Balshi and Josh Clarky with topics such as how to correctly transport a football on an airplane....

Tom's future plan is to go to tokyo and make a freestyle video from this trip, his doctor suggested to put song 'Big in japan' as a soundtrack for this video
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Kwas on Jul 16, 2009, 05:21: AM
Dan, also known as Dan, was born in Dan, which is placed near to Dan(which is city but not village, although it looked a bit like city in the middle of viilage), it makes a big sense. When he was young, he was making a big carrer as Dan The Fisherman, but one day...Kwas accused him of cheating fishes. Kwas prooved that dan is using his dick as bait, people in Dan were shocked, especially Dan the Policeman and Policeman the dan. Three days later Dan was judging in the Court. Judge was a Dan the Muslim, who  got his nickname after one case in which  
he convicted two muslims, who are judging with Darwin.They declared that people are not product of Natural selection and they are not similar to apps, as defense Darwin showed Kwas, the power of this evidence made judge and muslims sure that People have common ancestor with mankeys....  Dan was scared, but he felt good when he hear the sentecne...Judge also know as "Mac where is your cap", who was smart enough to make money on imposible small dick of dan. the sentence was following:dan you must cut your dick,and give it for Dan the Bratte".and he did, when bratte got dans dick, he was shocked"wtf, dude, its so small How can I make a ring of it?"-said Bratte, who was well knonw as master of making rings of dicks. But he made it. After it the powerful ring gone. teen years later, the guy named Blazgay found it, he said, it looks as my dick, and put it on his dick, and he became invisible, and then on the sky the ass of sauron was shoved,Old charmer-Miran- said, We must destroy it or we all gonna die... but then 4emovek, the legendary Emo said, I can cut myslef in the name of sauron ass,
- Don`t do it-said uknown Gustav
-Why?
-beacuse Mikael Lindroth has stolen your razor blade
Mikael hit on the floor

...


as so the stor of little pony has started...
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: DanTheMan on Jul 16, 2009, 05:31: AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA omg that was too funny... especially the Mikael part

Oliver Cherek:
Son of Pawel Skora and Patw Amsti, Oliver was born on the 29th February 1991, making him only 5 years old due to the leap years...
Part of a loving family, Oliver was told by his father Pawel that unless he could do amatw amatw nt in his first 5 attempts, he could not have dinner... slowly as he improved this combo, the challenge became tougher with Pawel and Patw only allowing 4 attempts the next month, 3 attempts the month after that, and so on... at the moment it is down to 0.6 attempts, making it impossible for Oli to get his dinner... So he joined a gym to get huge muscles, which he uses to intimidate random people to give him food which he so desperately lacks at home....
After his 4 amatw nt combo, Pawel and Patw were very proud of their son, and removed the amatw challenge... He now eats his dinner every day, and his favourites are Chicken with a sideserving of carrots, and on special occasions, Tofu with black-bean sauce purchased from the Chinese restaurant "Fuk Yoo" owned by master chef Gustav , whos special dish is the "Bjornburger"....
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: alitepu on Jul 16, 2009, 05:51: AM
ha ha....oli's one is awesome
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Kwas on Jul 16, 2009, 06:24: AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA omg that was too funny... especially the Mikael part

Oliver Cherek:
Son of Pawel Skora and Patw Amsti, Oliver was born on the 29th February 1991, making him only 5 years old due to the leap years...
Part of a loving family, Oliver was told by his father Pawel that unless he could do amatw amatw nt in his first 5 attempts, he could not have dinner... slowly as he improved this combo, the challenge became tougher with Pawel and Patw only allowing 4 attempts the next month, 3 attempts the month after that, and so on... at the moment it is down to 0.6 attempts, making it impossible for Oli to get his dinner... So he joined a gym to get huge muscles, which he uses to intimidate random people to give him food which he so desperately lacks at home....
After his 4 amatw nt combo, Pawel and Patw were very proud of their son, and removed the amatw challenge... He now eats his dinner every day, and his favourites are Chicken with a sideserving of carrots, and on special occasions, Tofu with black-bean sauce purchased from the Chinese restaurant "Fuk Yoo" owned by master chef Gustav , whos special dish is the "Bjornburger"....


hahaha that one is reaaly goo
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Mikael on Jul 16, 2009, 06:27: AM
Dan, also known as Dan, was born in Dan, which is placed near to Dan(which is city but not village, although it looked a bit like city in the middle of viilage), it makes a big sense. When he was young, he was making a big carrer as Dan The Fisherman, but one day...Kwas accused him of cheating fishes. Kwas prooved that dan is using his dick as bait, people in Dan were shocked, especially Dan the Policeman and Policeman the dan. Three days later Dan was judging in the Court. Judge was a Dan the Muslim, who  got his nickname after one case in which  
he convicted two muslims, who are judging with Darwin.They declared that people are not product of Natural selection and they are not similar to apps, as defense Darwin showed Kwas, the power of this evidence made judge and muslims sure that People have common ancestor with mankeys....  Dan was scared, but he felt good when he hear the sentecne...Judge also know as "Mac where is your cap", who was smart enough to make money on imposible small dick of dan. the sentence was following:dan you must cut your dick,and give it for Dan the Bratte".and he did, when bratte got dans dick, he was shocked"wtf, dude, its so small How can I make a ring of it?"-said Bratte, who was well knonw as master of making rings of dicks. But he made it. After it the powerful ring gone. teen years later, the guy named Blazgay found it, he said, it looks as my dick, and put it on his dick, and he became invisible, and then on the sky the ass of sauron was shoved,Old charmer-Miran- said, We must destroy it or we all gonna die... but then 4emovek, the legendary Emo said, I can cut myslef in the name of sauron ass,
- Don`t do it-said uknown Gustav
-Why?
-beacuse Mikael Lindroth has stolen your razor blade
Mikael hit on the floor

...


as so the stor of little pony has started...

I don't get it.  :lol: :lol: But it sounds funny anyway.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Kwas on Jul 16, 2009, 07:36: AM
Dan, also known as Dan, was born in Dan, which is placed near to Dan(which is city but not village, although it looked a bit like city in the middle of viilage), it makes a big sense. When he was young, he was making a big carrer as Dan The Fisherman, but one day...Kwas accused him of cheating fishes. Kwas prooved that dan is using his dick as bait, people in Dan were shocked, especially Dan the Policeman and Policeman the dan. Three days later Dan was judging in the Court. Judge was a Dan the Muslim, who  got his nickname after one case in which  
he convicted two muslims, who are judging with Darwin.They declared that people are not product of Natural selection and they are not similar to apps, as defense Darwin showed Kwas, the power of this evidence made judge and muslims sure that People have common ancestor with mankeys....  Dan was scared, but he felt good when he hear the sentecne...Judge also know as "Mac where is your cap", who was smart enough to make money on imposible small dick of dan. the sentence was following:dan you must cut your dick,and give it for Dan the Bratte".and he did, when bratte got dans dick, he was shocked"wtf, dude, its so small How can I make a ring of it?"-said Bratte, who was well knonw as master of making rings of dicks. But he made it. After it the powerful ring gone. teen years later, the guy named Blazgay found it, he said, it looks as my dick, and put it on his dick, and he became invisible, and then on the sky the ass of sauron was shoved,Old charmer-Miran- said, We must destroy it or we all gonna die... but then 4emovek, the legendary Emo said, I can cut myslef in the name of sauron ass,
- Don`t do it-said uknown Gustav
-Why?
-beacuse Mikael Lindroth has stolen your razor blade
Mikael hit on the floor

...


as so the stor of little pony has started...

I don't get it.  :lol: :lol: But it sounds funny anyway.  :thumbsup:



Nice to hear  :thumbsup:  :cheers:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Mikael on Jul 16, 2009, 08:20: AM
More and more guys start getting interested in dicks nowdays, lmao.
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: luki on Jul 16, 2009, 08:49: AM
Kwas("kwas" means "acid")
    SO2 + H2O ? H2SO3


so sad :(
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: oLi on Jul 16, 2009, 08:53: AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA omg that was too funny... especially the Mikael part

Oliver Cherek:
Son of Pawel Skora and Patw Amsti, Oliver was born on the 29th February 1991, making him only 5 years old due to the leap years...
Part of a loving family, Oliver was told by his father Pawel that unless he could do amatw amatw nt in his first 5 attempts, he could not have dinner... slowly as he improved this combo, the challenge became tougher with Pawel and Patw only allowing 4 attempts the next month, 3 attempts the month after that, and so on... at the moment it is down to 0.6 attempts, making it impossible for Oli to get his dinner... So he joined a gym to get huge muscles, which he uses to intimidate random people to give him food which he so desperately lacks at home....
After his 4 amatw nt combo, Pawel and Patw were very proud of their son, and removed the amatw challenge... He now eats his dinner every day, and his favourites are Chicken with a sideserving of carrots, and on special occasions, Tofu with black-bean sauce purchased from the Chinese restaurant "Fuk Yoo" owned by master chef Gustav , whos special dish is the "Bjornburger"....

Really funny and I really appreciate you making one of me  :biggrin:, tho I'm still pissed about your "let's beat Polands ass..." post so therefore you will still get beaten in London. Amount of time that the beating lasts has been reduced tho due to this nice piece of comedy you made!




For all retards, yes, I am joking, I am not going to hurt him. I will only hurt oli hayes.















For all you even more retarded, I am not going to hurt oli hayes
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: BigMac on Jul 16, 2009, 09:07: AM
i want to be hurt, hurt me.
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: oLi on Jul 16, 2009, 09:17: AM
i want to be hurt, hurt me.
you cant be hurt your anal virginity was lost 10 years ago
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Tobi on Jul 16, 2009, 10:01: AM
Oli you are hurting me every time we meet haha. It hurts like hell.
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: oLi on Jul 16, 2009, 10:02: AM
Oli you are hurting me every time we meet haha.
Such lies
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Tobi on Jul 16, 2009, 10:04: AM
Oli you are hurting me every time we meet haha.
Such lies
whaat it's not a lie! i remember several times where you've said "Give me money" and i say no and then you kick my ass :D
But I've been working out a lot, and I can now beat your ass. See you in London man! I'll be coming when you least expect it!
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Kwas on Jul 16, 2009, 06:45: PM
More and more guys start getting interested in dicks nowdays, lmao.
beacuse few years ago, the number of boys who had dicks were less than 10%, nowdays, when the number of dick is growing, and more people have known, what is dick, they getting fascinated by complicated structure of dick.
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: DanTheMan on Jul 16, 2009, 10:38: PM
wtf.... :cursing: :cursing: :cursing:

fucking spammer, someone please ban this guy... he just posts 1-word replies on random stuff
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: oLi on Jul 16, 2009, 11:42: PM
wtf.... :cursing: :cursing: :cursing:

fucking spammer, someone please ban this guy... he just posts 1-word replies on random stuff
Not going to ban someone for something like that. Warning and deleting of posts that only contain smiley icons is enough.
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Philip WG on Jul 17, 2009, 01:44: AM
More and more guys start getting interested in dicks nowdays, lmao.
beacuse few years ago, the number of boys who had dicks were less than 10%, nowdays, when the number of dick is growing, and more people have known, what is dick, they getting fascinated by complicated structure of dick.

And few people, like for example me, are experts in making dickrings .., ?

 :pimp:
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: DanTheMan on Jul 17, 2009, 02:12: AM
http://www.facebook.com/editphoto.php?aid=93675#/photo.php?pid=2548258&id=659531617 (http://www.facebook.com/editphoto.php?aid=93675#/photo.php?pid=2548258&id=659531617)
Title: Re: Freestylers Biographies
Post by: Gorey on Aug 03, 2009, 12:17: PM
if i was intellegant enough i would post summat but im not that creative n im slow in the head :'(