Beyond Football - Freestyle Football Forum
General Category => General Chat => Topic started by: G-Kid on Jul 02, 2009, 05:27: AM
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http://www.sickipedia.org/index.php?title=Main_Page
Funniest website on the net :lol:
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape
A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp leaves.
A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes.
There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too."
"No, a straw," says the Tramp.
The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick.
To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already".
Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "You won't believe what happened! I was taking a shortcut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to the rails. I untied her, and we had sex over and over again. All the positions; everything!"
His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blowjob?"
"No, I couldn't find her head."
The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.
One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"
Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied, "Not too bad, thanks."
After a short pause, I heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"
Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?"
The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some cunt in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."
What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult
Disabled toilets.
Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.
I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up.
She turned out to be an undercover detective.
How cool is that at her age?!
(Dont merge this, deserves its own thread.)
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LOOOOOOOOOOOL! this is hilarious hahaha
i actually laughed at these
genius!
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:nopity:
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crazy jokes dude!!!!!! :lol: :lol:
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:lol: awesome man I love it!
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For Sale; single white glove , slightly soiled index finger
hahahahaha
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trust u gman to pist this lmao pmsl
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Yeah I came across this site like a week ago. Its a British site which is kinda obvious by the jokes, its great its anti-american, anti-aussie, well anti everything tbh. Tis my new favourite atm.
What do a you call a somali pirate?
A niggarrh.
Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.
I tell you something: that Hiroshima must have been some bomb.
64 years later and they're still squinting!
The Lesbians next door have bought me a Rolex! Well chuffed... but I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch"
My Chinese girlfriend said "You shit in bed"... so I did.
It took Jesus 3 days to respawn
Talk about lag!
Apparently cardiac arrest can cure paedophillia.
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"When Madonna goes to Africa to bring back a little nigger it is called charity; there was a time when it was called slavery."
ahhahahahahahahahah lol
“Twister kills two, north-west of Atlanta”.
Must have been one hell of a game.
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.
Ah, it's the time of day when all the American inbred retards swarm the site and think, "Don't get that. Must be crap. Vote it down, down, down."
I have visited American so-called 'Sick Joke' sites and the wankers actually apologise after posting a sick joke! Strange how they find sick jokes offensive, but don't mind bombing the fuck out of innocent human beings (us British included)!
Well, here's a little friendly fire for all you God-fearing, nappy-wearing, sister-shagging retards:
Fuck off and find a knock-knock joke site. That will be much more to your shandy-drinking style, I think.
Statistically... 9/11 Americans won't get this joke.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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some are really offensive against mulims, black ppl and wtf is with all the rape jokes? since wen was that funny.
but some jokes are f*cking halarious!
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some are really offensive against mulims, black ppl and wtf is with all the rape jokes? since wen was that funny.
but some jokes are f*cking halarious!
It's called sickipedia noob.
One for you lis:
I was trying to get through customs in Australia recently and they asked me whether I had a criminal record.
I apologised and replied that I hadn't known that it was still mandatory.
So here I am in the Internet Cafe with the biggest fucking nigger I've ever seen reading every word I ty
I hate all this terrorist business.
I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on the tube and think,
'I'll fucking have that!'
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.
Funny sense of humour my plumber has.
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yea i had a feeling it was that, but more wanted the sick as in awesome.
so much pedo stuff, that shit isnt funny at all.
i like these ones
My wife said, "When you're watching porn, do you think of me?"
I said, "When you're eating a cake, do you think of dogshit?"
It's been so long since I last had sex that now when I wank I fantasize about other times I've had a wank.
hmmm
Me and the wife decided to have a threesome with my best friend last night.
It was some of the best sex we've ever had.
And I know he enjoyed it; his tail hasn't stopped wagging!
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A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch."
A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.
Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."
To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."
How does every Black joke start?
By looking over your shoulder!
There are very good jokes here, but some are really beyond the verge of good manners, so I won't post them. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: